Speak my Language

Love is about listening, but words aren’t everything. Actions speak louder than words, but not to everyone. Something significant to you is run-of-the-mill for your partner. Sometimes, it feels like you’re speaking a different language.

Maybe you are.

Emotional love languages are how people say, “I love you!” without actually saying it. Love languages are types of actions through which people express and feel love. Each person has a hierarchy of love languages, of the relationship currencies that are most valuable to them.

Verbal communication can be especially important for some people. Words of affirmation tell someone that you appreciate them. They are simple phrases that aren’t always easy to say, like “You look good in that outfit” and “I admire your thoughtfulness”.

Alternatively, you might feel loved when someone acts, by making coffee for you in the morning or doing the washing when the basket is full. It is through acts of service like these that some people truly feel cared for.

Physical touch is a staple of many romantic relationships and a common way for people to show affection. Even something as seemingly small as sitting close to each other on the couch can make someone feel like they mean something to you.

But, perhaps, simply sharing the same space matters. Quality time is about being together and making the time to be together. It’s sharing a meal or sitting on the veranda and talking – the time is for just you.

Your partner may also feel loved when you give them gifts. They may recognise gifts as a sign that you’re thinking about them; for them, receiving gifts is receiving a physical representation of your feelings.

You may find that you and someone special use completely different love languages. This mismatch isn’t a sign of incompatibility; it’s a reminder that the implicit message can be as important as the explicit action.

If you pay attention to what your significant other does for you and which of your actions make them light up, you can learn how to tell them that you love them in just the right language.