Dear Alice – Unlucky in Love

Dear Alice,
I’ve been single for around 3 years now and I am really ready to be in a relationship again. I have been doing the whole Tinder thing and whilst I’ve had lots of first dates, and even some short relationships, I haven’t been able to find the right guy. I’m beginning to worry that I will never find love again.
– Lucy

Hi Lucy,
Firstly, I’m sorry to hear that you have been unlucky in love. It’s interesting that we are constantly connected by technology and yet it has been reported that people today are the loneliest they have been in modern history. At the end of the day, all we want is to feel understood and be connected with other people. If you have been trying to meet people and have not been successful, perhaps your method is not working for you. I think that when you have a certain idea of what ‘Mr Right’ will look like, you may be blind to multiple opportunities along the way. Instead of focusing on meeting him right now, perhaps it would be beneficial to explore your own social hobbies. When you take the pressure off yourself and start enjoying socialising, you may be invited into worlds you had previously dismissed. ‘Mr Right’ may not be sitting on his phone looking at dating apps, he might be at a family BBQ or hiking with a group of friends. When you take your focus off dating, and shift it onto genuinely connecting with people, you may meet other people that could lead you to ‘Mr Right’. Sure, you may not think that attending your work colleague’s niece’s birthday party is going to be fruitful; but perhaps you meet a new friend that invites you to another event where you meet a nice guy. Step out of that tunnel vision and look around you, there are amazing people everywhere. Lastly, I encourage you to be friendly and confident. Say hi to people while you’re out, you never know who you’re standing next to!